I'm grumpy. I shouldn't be but I am. I should be able to let this roll off my back and say, "Not my problem." I can't.
A member of my family (who shall remain nameless to protect whatever innocence he may still have) is being a dork and a disloyal dork at that. I have failed miserably at making him understand what I see as disloyalty. Thus my grumpiness. I don't like to know that someone I have to deal with on a daily, familial basis, is behaving in such a manner and is unable to see it.
Let me tell you the story for the purposes of which I shall use the initial J. to refer to my family member, and A,B,C. to refer to others in the story. (And no, J is not his first initial).
Okay, so J. has a group of friends that have hung around together for at least the last two years. The group grew larger bit by bit over the last four years. One of the friends in this group, A., has known J. for at least six, perhaps seven, years.
One of the members of the group, B. has turned out to be rather obnoxious, whinging when the group does not go along with his ideas, sulking and generally being tedious. Through it all, the group has put up with his childish behaviour and never shunned him. Heaven knows why.
Somewhere along the line, B. developed a dislike for A. to the point where B would not invite A when the group was meeting at B's house. Would deliberately not invite A to various activities to which the rest of the group was invited - camping trips organized by B's parents, trips to chocolate factories organized by B's father, overnight parties at B's house, etc. He knows that J and A have been friends for much longer than he and J.
You might be asking, "So what? B has a right to invite whomever he wishes to his home."
And you'd be right. I really don't give a rat's ass whom B sees or doesn't see. What I do care about is how J is treating A. Whever B invites J, he goes. Never sticks up for A and says, "if A isn't invited, then I'm not coming." I can't believe he would do something like this. When I confronted him about it, he says that B has the right to invite whom he likes and that he, J, has to right to do things without A.
I counter with "But it's not that simple. You're not just doing something with B. You're doing it despite the fact that B has shunned A. And you haven't showed any loyalty for your friend A."
I can't believe that he could do something this insensitive. He seems not to believe that he would feel shunned if he were in A's shoes.
A still sees J as a friend, comes over whenever J asks him to, etc. Doesn't seem to see it as a problem, or if he does, he's not saying.
I still think that J is behaving very badly and if a friend of mine did that to me, I'd probably not be friends with him or her very long. I certainly wouldn't value the friendship much.
Perhaps I'm wrong about this. If you think I am, let me know.
Meanwhile, I'm still grumpy. Although, on second thought, maybe I'm grumpy because my skills at convincing someone that I'm right seem to have disappeared like summer in the Arctic. I know one of the reasons I'm grumpy is because I'm letting this get to me.
But I see it as a matter of principle. I have a hard time respecting someone who would do something like this, whether or not the supposed 'victim' of the piece doesn't seem to mind.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Monday, August 09, 2004
Of Groundhogs, cataracts and other sh*t
Today has been the pits. I found out that our city council and their minions have been killing groundhogs at a park that I used to enjoy visiting. I don't know why.
And I found out that I have a cataract starting in each eye. Now if that isn't a topper for the day, I don't know what is. I'm only 55 for crying out loud. My mother-in-law just had her cataracts operated on and she's 78. I asked the doc how long from now she thinks I'll need to have something done about mine. She said, 'Are you trying to get me to look into the future?' Well, er, yes. How about just a ballpark, doc? Oh, 10 to 15 years. Heck. I'll be 65 in 10 years and that's way young to have cataract surgery. Ain't it?
John said to make sure I told her that I'm going deaf in my right ear. This may have something to do with the fact that the other day when I was watching tennis on TV, I realized that the court looked deep marine blue if I used my left eye, and mauve if I used my right. I told John that ears and eyes are not connected. He said to make sure to tell the doc anyway. I told the doc and unfortunately she was interested. Wants me to come back in a month.
Ugh.
But it was the news about the groundhogs that really has me bummed out. The city councillor who revealed this news to a friend of mind seems to think that the groundhogs were a victim of their own success, as is the park in general. People had started feeding the critters who were adapting just nicely, thank you, to having their groceries brought to them instead of having to forage. They would eat out of your hand if you were brave enough. I never did get up the nerve. I'm also not sure how I feel about feeding them. They could probably get enough food on their own and didn't need human intervention. But, there weren't that many groundhogs and it's not like they were telephoning their friends and telling them to come on over, there was free food enough for all. They did have babies this summer and that's as nature intended. What I do know for sure is that nature did not intend for them to be killed as they were.
Two species can interact in various ways. Sometimes it's disastrous for both. Sometimes for one of the two. Sometimes it benefits both and I have a feeling this was one of those times. The groundhogs were happy but still wild enough, I think, that had the food source dried up, they would have been able to feed themselves.
I'm rambling. I know. I know. But it really is beyond me why someone at City Hall thought these animals should die. Their homes were creating hazards for the patrons of the park, they say. Park visitors were in danger of being bitten, they say.
What about the garbage and litter these patrons leave behind them in the park? What about the danger of being run over by rude boys on bicycles and skateboards? There are children poisoning geese and chasing ducks until they die of exhaustion.
I am not feeling very well disposed to Ottawa just at the moment - not to the ones who call themselves city leaders, nor to those who destroy the parks and its wildlife.
Ugh. This is very disorganized and rambling. I'll have to come back and do it all over again. Perhaps tomorrow. Perhaps the next day. Perhaps not at all. It doesn't really matter anyway, does it? I mean, people are still going to go on hurting each other and animals whether I like it or not, no matter how many letters I write to city hall. No matter how loud I scream. The human species is going drag us all down.
And I found out that I have a cataract starting in each eye. Now if that isn't a topper for the day, I don't know what is. I'm only 55 for crying out loud. My mother-in-law just had her cataracts operated on and she's 78. I asked the doc how long from now she thinks I'll need to have something done about mine. She said, 'Are you trying to get me to look into the future?' Well, er, yes. How about just a ballpark, doc? Oh, 10 to 15 years. Heck. I'll be 65 in 10 years and that's way young to have cataract surgery. Ain't it?
John said to make sure I told her that I'm going deaf in my right ear. This may have something to do with the fact that the other day when I was watching tennis on TV, I realized that the court looked deep marine blue if I used my left eye, and mauve if I used my right. I told John that ears and eyes are not connected. He said to make sure to tell the doc anyway. I told the doc and unfortunately she was interested. Wants me to come back in a month.
Ugh.
But it was the news about the groundhogs that really has me bummed out. The city councillor who revealed this news to a friend of mind seems to think that the groundhogs were a victim of their own success, as is the park in general. People had started feeding the critters who were adapting just nicely, thank you, to having their groceries brought to them instead of having to forage. They would eat out of your hand if you were brave enough. I never did get up the nerve. I'm also not sure how I feel about feeding them. They could probably get enough food on their own and didn't need human intervention. But, there weren't that many groundhogs and it's not like they were telephoning their friends and telling them to come on over, there was free food enough for all. They did have babies this summer and that's as nature intended. What I do know for sure is that nature did not intend for them to be killed as they were.
Two species can interact in various ways. Sometimes it's disastrous for both. Sometimes for one of the two. Sometimes it benefits both and I have a feeling this was one of those times. The groundhogs were happy but still wild enough, I think, that had the food source dried up, they would have been able to feed themselves.
I'm rambling. I know. I know. But it really is beyond me why someone at City Hall thought these animals should die. Their homes were creating hazards for the patrons of the park, they say. Park visitors were in danger of being bitten, they say.
What about the garbage and litter these patrons leave behind them in the park? What about the danger of being run over by rude boys on bicycles and skateboards? There are children poisoning geese and chasing ducks until they die of exhaustion.
I am not feeling very well disposed to Ottawa just at the moment - not to the ones who call themselves city leaders, nor to those who destroy the parks and its wildlife.
Ugh. This is very disorganized and rambling. I'll have to come back and do it all over again. Perhaps tomorrow. Perhaps the next day. Perhaps not at all. It doesn't really matter anyway, does it? I mean, people are still going to go on hurting each other and animals whether I like it or not, no matter how many letters I write to city hall. No matter how loud I scream. The human species is going drag us all down.
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